Andrew Dice Clay Returns!
By Mark Mercer -
Courtesy Of marksfriggin.com
After Lisa's news preview Howard played some Andrew Dice Clay audio clips from the old days. Dice came in a short time later. He hasn't been on the show in 8 years now. Howard and Robin both said he looked like the same guy they knew from 8 years ago. Dice told Howard that the new studio was unreal. Howard tried to introduce Dice to Artie but Dice didn't want to know him.
Dice said that he's been listening to the show, he never stopped. Dice was kind of uncomfortable. Howard quickly moved on and asked Dice about how he's no longer married. Dice said that he didn't come there to talk about that stuff. He said that he was the one who called the show to come back in and talk to Howard about what went on with them. He said that they did fight years ago but he was still listening to the show and enjoying it. He knew it was screwed up.
Dice said that their lives have kind of paralleled over the years as far as the controversy and the marriages failing. Dice said that he tried to get on the show in the past but it was turned down. Dice said that his previous manager told him that they didn't want Dice on the show. He didn't believe his management but Gary told Howard that they did discuss having him on and Howard turned it down. Dice said that was fine, he doesn't have a problem with that.
Dice went on to say that he thinks that other people getting in between them is what brought their friendship and maybe their marriages to an end. Howard wondered who came between them. Dice said it was different friends in his life that poisoned his relationship with his wife. They would tell her stuff that wasn't true but he didn't want to get into that on the air because he's still going through stuff. Dice said that he was still in love with his wife all the way to the end but she wanted to end it. He said that he believes that she had a lot of animosity toward him.
Dice said that he's got a girlfriend right now and he really loves her but they have problems as well. He said that she thinks that it's okay to be ''friends'' with other guys and he doesn't believe that's possible. She used to be a waitress at the Comedy Store and she got a call from a guy she dated for a while. He said that he asked her not to talk to ex-boyfriends so they ended up getting into a fight. Howard said he knows what he's talking about because he does the same thing. He cuts himself off from having relationships with other women when he's involved in a relationship.
Howard said that it seems to him that Dice seems to have a short fuse after listening to the CNN clip he listened to earlier. Dice said the guy was unprepared for that interview and he didn't want to sit through it so he went off on him. Dice said that he's never been able to behave in his life so when this guy on CNN was talking the way he was, he ended up cursing and going off on the guy. He said that was better than giving him the beating he could have given him. Howard thought that maybe he should have talked to the guy and telling him what he was thinking.
Dice said that when he first came on Howard's show, Howard wasn't the guy that everyone knows today. He knew that Howard was going to be huge back then because he was asking real questions. He said that people ended up getting between them and that's what he was trying to say earlier about the relationship thing. He said that even his parents could get between he and his wife. He said that he would defend his wife to the end and actually sent his parents home one time because of a fight they got into.
Dice said that he thought about the fight they had and he thinks it wasn't them, it was what came between them. He was being a bit cryptic so Howard asked Dice why he got angry. Dice said that he came in the studio that time and he was very excited about coming in. He was in the studio a couple of minutes and Howard went right to the phones. He wondered why he was doing that so soon into the interview. Dice just wanted to hang with Howard and have fun with him.
Dice said he got a call from Chaunce Hayden that day after the show and he made some comments about how he didn't like how Howard went to the phones. Then Dice was shooting a show for UPN and he was listening to the radio and heard Howard going nuts on him. He remembered calling Gary and asking him when the war was going to start. He knew it was coming so he actually showered and went into his guest house so he could yell at Howard. He said that's when they both got on the air and fought. It was all because of the comments that were made by someone else (Chaunce).
Howard said that at the time he had Dice on a few times in recent weeks and a couple of them were kind of tame so he was going to hold off on having him on for a while. He told Gary he didn't want to say no to Dice coming on but he knew that they weren't having a good interview. That's why he went to the phones that day. He thought that maybe they might have something that he didn't that day. Howard didn't think that the appearance was that good that day and that's where all of that came from. Dice said that he could have been off himself because he was going through a lot of stuff with his wife back then.
Howard said that he remembers when Dice was doing a TV show and he was kind of caught between two worlds. He remembers telling Gary that he didn't think the interview went well that day but then he read the article that Chaunce wrote. That's when Dice went off on Howard and he took it very personal. He said he would take some of the responsibility for the interview but not all of it. When he saw the public attack on him, he went off on Dice. That's when Howard started saying that Dice was unfunny and washed up. Dice was saying the same things about Howard.
Dice said that the article was a shit article (by Chaunce) in a shit magazine (Steppin' Out). He said that the guy knows how to push people's buttons and that's exactly what he was doing with that article. Dice told Howard that he remembers when he used to call Howard years ago and how he used to love annoying people in his life. He said that he and Howard would actually make prank calls together on the phone.
Howard remembered that and how Dice would call him with prank calls to listen to while he and Hottub Johnny would make them. Howard said they were great calls and he wishes that he had the tapes of them. Dice said that Howard would have to get up at 4 in the morning and he would tell him he had to go. Dice said he would beg Howard to stay on the phone to listen because he knew that he could keep him on the phone. It was actually Howard who was the target. Howard would finally hang up and Dice would be on his floor rolling around laughing his ass off about keeping Howard on the line so long.
Dice also talked about going house hunting with Howard and how they were having a great time goofing around in the houses they were looking at. Dice said that he would pull up to a house and not like what it looked like outside and would refuse to go in at all. He said that Howard would beg him to go in and look at it just to be nice to the real estate agent.
Dice was going to buy a house out on Long Island and he ended up getting freaked out when he saw some voo doo dolls in the lawyer's office. Dice said that the house was 7500 square feet and the house was being foreclosed on and it was pretty cheap for what he was getting. They went to the lawyer's office to fill out the paperwork. Howard got a call beforehand and told him that he was going to get out of the deal. Dice said that he went to do the contract and the office was all dark brown and he hates dark brown. There were some little voo doo dolls lining his shelves as well. He said he was living in Brooklyn at the time and actually loved it there. He said he was home that night thinking about how he can't take that house. He told his wife about the dolls and backed out of the deal.
Howard said he got the call from the real estate broker but he wanted out of the whole thing at that point. The broker told Howard that the lawyer had brought back some African art, that's what the dolls were. Dice didn't care at that point, he had already decided that the dolls were voo doo dolls. Dice lost out on the deal because they got another $50,000 for it. Howard said that place is probably worth $10 million now and Dice could have had it for $950,000.
Dice said he was also kind of freaked out by the stairs in the place because of the way they were laid out. Dice said he bought a house in New Jersey shortly after that but that place was haunted. Robin said that she remembers Howard talking about how crazy he was being driven by Dice and how he wanted out of the friendship.
Howard told another story about meeting Dice in a parking lot to go looking at houses and Dice was goofing on a guy who was standing nearby. He was demanding directions for how to get to the place they were looking for. Dice said the guy may have been a little crippled out but that makes him laugh.
Howard asked Dice about his relationship with Sam Kinison. Dice said that he will have that in the book that he's working on which he's going to call ''The Filthy Truth.'' He aid that he hasn't sold the book yet but he's got stories about Kinison and about Howard. He said that Sam had a great career and he ruined it by just talking about him on stage. He thought that Kinison was the greatest and he thinks that Sam didn't even know he was ruining his career by talking about him so much.
Dice said that there is only one comic out there who can do what he used to do by selling out huge arenas. That comic is Dane Cook. Now Dice hears other comics goofing on the guy because they're jealous. They call him a thief and stuff like that but it's just jealousy. He said he supports Dane Cook because he knows what he's going through. He went through the same shit back in his day.
Howard asked Dice about his feud with Pauly Shore. Dice said that when he and his wife split up he was filming himself and started filming some of the comics over at The Comedy Store. He started calling it ''The Show'' and it was going to be kind of a reality show and a comedy show. He said his 2 sons, who are 11 and 15, would come with him to the comedy club. He spent a minute telling Howard about his relationship with the kids and said that he really doesn't want to bad mouth their mother.
Dice said that he's pretty well off right now but the divorce did kind of wipe him out. He pointed out that he's not wearing the leather anymore. He got back to his story about going to the Comedy Store with his kids and how Pauly Shore wanted him to get the kids out of there. Dice said that Pauly cursed in front of his kid and that kind of upset him. Pauly grew up at the Comedy Store and it was kind of hypocritical of him to even bring that up. He said that he and Pauly had a little thing and they've made up since then. He said that he is getting wound up about that story now that he's talking about it again.
Howard heard that Dice was in a feud with Jay Mohr as well. Dice said that he was on the ''Asshole and Anthony'' show one time... Dice stopped himself and said that he used to have to do that show when he wasn't doing Howard's show. He then went off on this guy Anthony for a short time and said that he has a problem with that guy. Dice got back to the story about Jay Mohr. He said he went to the Comedy Store and they were having a party for The Comedy Awards at the club and this guy George Slaughter showed up. He was angry about that guy and the way he had been treated by him in the past.
Dice said that his son inspired him to do Madison Square Garden again that day so he was going to put a plan together to put out a new album and work his way to doing the Garden again in a year. Then he heard Anthony going on and on about him on their show. He didn't really care that much but he had to do their show because he wasn't doing Howard's show at the time. They used to thank him for helping them build their show by coming on. He said that those guys used to go off on Howard all the time and no matter what they said, Howard is going to be the biggest guy in radio no matter what.
Dice said he started doing their show and New York started to get hot on him again so he was able to sell out the Beacon Theater and then had the chance to do the Garden again. He said that it was incredible that he was able to do that for his son. Dice said that he did the Opie and Anthony show the day before the Garden show and Anthony was doing an impression of him. Dice said that Mancow eventually became his friend over the years. He said he knows that Howard has a thing with him... Howard said he doesn't have a thing, he just wants to fuck his father's dead skull. Dice said that's what he doesn't like when he does stuff like that and asked Howard to do that when he's not there.
Dice said that Opie told him that Mancow was coming into the city to introduce him at his show so Opie and Anthony weren't going to do the show. Dice said that's when his kid started to get uncomfortable. He asked him if everything was okay. That eventually led to Dice talking about how this guy Jay Mohr told him he wasn't afraid of him on the air but Dice told him that if he didn't show up to his show, and he had to come looking for him, there might be a fight. He said that he eventually got a call from a detective who said that he got a visit from Jay Mohr and his wife who were complaining about what was going on. He said that Jay went back on the air with Opie and Anthony bad mouthing him so he had to explain to the cops that it was a ''radio fight.'' He tried to get Jay to drop the whole thing.
Dice said that he confronted Jay at an event and was talking to him about the fight to his face but he knew he didn't have to fight him because the guy was so yellow. Dice said that there are a lot of people out there who don't know what a real punch is like so they're more afraid of it than they would be normally.
Dice was also going off on Opie and Anthony more as well. He said that he thinks that he thinks that the only people who are listening to their show are their families. He said that they made his kid really uncomfortable when he was at their show. Then he heard that they were going off on him one day so he showed up to the show and he laid into the guy about their threats of not showing up at The Garden. Dice said that they aren't selling out anything so if they show up it's not going to help him out. He said he just wanted to see what those guys had verbally on the air but they had nothing.
Dice was telling some jokes and cursing and said that he really loves the freedom they have at SIRIUS. He started to get into a whole comedy routine that had Artie and Howard laughing their asses off. Dice said that he killed at the Garden that night and those two assholes didn't have anything to say when they were on stage. He pointed out that he was able to impress his son by doing the Garden.
Dice talked about how great his sons are. He said that they're both playing instruments and they're very good already and they're only 11 and 15 years old. The 15 year old is playing drums like John Bonham. The kid is 6'1 1/2'' tall already and he's only 15.
Dice told Artie he heard his impression of him earlier and told him that he was doing ''Dice 88'' and he should start doing Dice 2006 now. Artie said he loves his new stuff, Jim Florentine plays it for him. Dice said that Jim Florentine will be working with him this weekend at the shows he's doing.
Howard told Dice that he's not sure they can go back to where they left off with in their friendship but today's appearance was good. He also said that it takes balls to do what Dice did today. Robin thanked Dice for doing one of Howard's birthday shows one year because he really killed that day. Dice said that he's been listening to the show for many years and he felt that they needed to hook up again. He said that the deal Howard made with SIRIUS is one of the greatest deals ever made. He said that Howard getting sued is ridiculous and if they didn't want Howard talking about going to SIRIUS, they should have fired him right away.
Howard told Dice that he feels he will be vindicated before the case even goes to court. Sal came in and asked Dice if he thinks crying on the Arsenio Hall show hurt his career. Dice said that he doesn't hide his emotions in his life and it probably didn't hurt the career. He said that he had a movie opening the next day. He said he doesn't regret crying on that show at all. The movie came out the next day and it was pulled a week later because he was too controversial.
Howard had to wrap up with Dice because they had been going for over an hour and a half so far. He told Dice he felt that this was a very healthy reunion and he's glad that Dice made the call to Gary to come back in. Fred said that he's glad that Dice is back on the show and back in the spotlight. Howard took a couple of phone calls before he ended the interview. One guy said he wasn't a fan of Dice's in the past but he would love to hear him on the show again because this interview went so well.
Artie was saying that he doesn't think that this was all resolved yet. He wondered if Dice thinks that Chaunce had something to do with their fight. Dice said it could have been the conversation that Chaunce had with Howard on the air. Howard said that Chaunce does tape record his conversations but Fred pointed out that he's gotten things wrong in the past. Howard said that doesn't matter, he and Dice have had their fight and now they've had a nice discussion and tried to resolve things. They both went off on each other in the past and that's now over.
Dice said that he should have gone right to Howard that day instead of talking to Chaunce. He should have let him know how he was feeling instead of talking to someone else who passed that story on to Howard. Dice felt that Artie wasn't satisfied with the outcome of the interview today. Artie said he just asked him one question about Chaunce.
Dice said that he's doing some shows at Governors out on Long Island this weekend but they're already sold out. He's doing them with Jim Florentine and Don Jamieson. Howard went to break shortly after that.
Special Thanks To Mark Mercer
Webmaster Of Marksfriggin.com