Long Island Signing's A Smash!!
By: Frank

I arrived at the book signing at 10:40 am. It was cold and cloudy, but we are Howard Stern Fans. There were about 5,000 people on line when I arrived. I started to talk to my fellow fans in line when Melrose Larry Green came by signing the book and taking pictures with us. Shortly after he came by UZO came by in a mink coat and super high platform pump shoes! She looked pretty good!

The crowd went sick. HOWARD HAD ARRIVED! It was 11:50. Allison was with him and Ralph. Howard was wearing coveralls and a flannel shirt and a black leather jacket.

During our wait in line there were Howard buttons, t-shirts, photos and posters for sale. The big question was danglers, yes there was a couple of homeless selling them for 30 bucks but no takers, a little while later 2 guys and a girl were selling bootleg danglers for 5 bucks and they must have sold hundreds just in my line alone. While in line we took turns running up to the front of the store to get autographs from Dominick the Attorney, Kenneth Keith, Capt. Janks, King of all messengers Howard's Cybersex babe, Rubberbaby, Emilio the Jumper, and Ralph. Cars had Fuck Jackie signs! People were doing sound clips from the show and Ben Stern's "shut up sit down. I had Howard's parents in front of me trying to get in the parking lot but the police didn't believe that it was them. Mr. Stern told a cop at the next entrance who they were and he let them in.

Six hours later I was two feet from Howard. The store security said there was 16,000 people. Howard signed my book talked to me for 2 minutes while giving his hand a rest. He was great and everyone enjoyed themselves. There was no fights just a lot of laughs. People called Dominick a "fat bastard" and he stormed away and then came back. When Ralph came out to sign books, everyone started chanting "KILL RALPH! KILL RALPH!" It was a great day. He also told me he would only be signing 1 book per person for the rest of the book tour. He said this was just too much.

The collector book mark they gave away was a full color replica of the book binder but dated with Barnes & Noble Logo. Thanks for letting me tell you what happened, anything else please e-mail me for more details! There was about 100 policeman and 20 more on horseback, we all laughed as the people stepped in horse shit!

Frank, aka "KING OF PROMOTIONAL PRODUCTS"
eastcoast@pb.net eastcoast@pb.net

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1995 The KOAM Newsletter. Autographed Book Provided By: Kevin Renzulli.