In Front Of The Line In Long Island!
By Ira Goldwyn

Let me tell you the story from a fan who stayed the entire night in Long Island! From about 7pm the night before, about 30-50 of us stood freezing ourselves outside of the Barnes and Noble. We were located all the way in the back and every time someone else joined us they said the same thing, "Wow, I thought I was the only one here until someone said there were people around the back..."

Some people drank, others who were really prepared, went to sleep beneath blankets, snow suits, etc. They had even brought beach chairs to weather the 30 degree temperature. Most of us listened to "Crucified" and other tapes while we huddled around a few barbecue grills to keep warm. We toasted our feet and melted our shoes, but we stayed warm. As it turned black outside, along came King Of All Messengers, dressed in black. The mastermind behind the World Trade Center call had come to wait it out with us. By 6am, the sky started to turn pale blue and we all felt relief that the night was ending. We kept burning anything we could to keep the fire going and after an hour or two the store personnel had arrived and so too had the crazies.

Uzo and her boyfriend arrived. She posed with many of the guys and they had their hands full. Uzo helped warm up the crowd. Melrose Larry Green arrived dressed in a Hasidic Jew rabbi outfit. He began to pass out leaflets which were ads for his poster (of his arrest). He was slammed by the crowd and chants of "F Melrose" began to echo from all around. Soon the book store started handing out Tiaras, to give us the Pageant feeling and we had fun throwing them around.

The "suits" were also looming everywhere that day. They did everything but take aerial pictures of the place. It was later determined that the first twenty people in line were to go into the store and be there to greet Howard when he arrived. I think we finally received a reward for the 12+ hours we waited while braving the cold.

Inside the store we were inspected, detected, infected....(as Arlo Guthrie put it). We were read the list of things we couldn't do, but it didn't matter. We got to speak with Rae & Ben as well as Rubber Baby, Dominic Barbara (TBA), Sister Ellen and her daughter, Harvey/Bob the coke/stroke guy and finally Howard and Alison. That's when things got tough. Beware all cities yet to come. They lined us up, pushed us through and ushered us out the door, like Sheep being herded. Those of us at the front of the line probably got the clearest signatures, with 7000 people outside, Howard must have been signing H.....S....n by the end.

Outside the store were Captain Janks and Kenneth Keith Kallenbach who were trying to get inside through the out door. Gorilla told the book store who they were and the two Wack Packers were let in. The bloated one, Dominic, also came outside and signed autographs. It was a great night, a great party and I'll see everyone when the next book comes out!

Story By: Ira Goldwyn

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1995 The KOAM Newsletter. Autographed Book Provided By: Kevin Renzulli.