FIST! FIST! FIST!
Chicago's worst Howard Stern imitator,
Eric "Mancow" Muller.

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Stern/Mancoward Feud Update:
As Of: 10/11/95.

Within Fisting Distance

Where's all the hate mail now, Mancoward fans. Asshole mid-western college dudes who e-mail annonymously. Just like their idiol, cowards. When Howard called Mancow today (10/11) and he didn't come to the phone, It just proved that Mancow was truly the coward Howard had pegged him as. Mancow's in 4th place in the market, and crows like he's number one. He's IN Chicago. Howard's on satellite and is right behind him. When Mancow can get a 7 rating with a 14 share in the New York metropolitan area with over 8 million people, and then take the number one spot in Los Angeles, he can be crowned King, but until them, FIST! FIST! FIST!

BACKGROUND:

FROM 8/27/95: Howard kept up the pace on his assault of Mancow this week with even more damaging testimony from a man named Andy, who worked with Mancow at WPLJ NY about 4 years ago. Andy said that morning man Scott Shannon brought in Eric Muller (Mancow) for a 2 week test. During that time, Andy claims that his job became listening to Howard's show and giving his notes to Muller so that he could immediately repeat the best lines and sound witty and clever. Apparently, that cleverness didn't last very long, so it was off to another Stern-less city where Mancoward could get his little blue tapes (below) of Howard's show and rip-off Howard undetected.

Earlier in the week, Howard had a man named Ken on the show, who said he worked with Mancow in San Fransisco. When Howard asked Ken if Mancow bought air-checks of his show, Ken responded, "Yes, he did." As mentioned above, it seems that Mancow's favorite color is blue, since that's the color of the tape that Major Market Radio, a company that tapes and sells air-checks of radio personalities, was sending to him. Ken said his falling out with Mancow came when Mancow accused him of stealing some of his OWN bits. According to Ken, Mancow would rip Howard off by listening to tapes of Howard and then doing the material in "his voice". Ken also confirmed rumors that Mancow relies heavily on radio subscription services that provide bits and material for radio shows that lack creative luster. It seems that big bucks can buy the ratings, whether it's $10,000 give-aways by lame DJs like Rick Dees or buying of morning show tip sheets, like Mancow does, it's just not based on originality or talent.

Friday, 8/18/95:
Stuttering John met up with Mancoward at a radio seminar called "Morning Show Boot Camp", which is held annually in Atlanta. From the tape, which was heard on Tuesday's Stern show, Mancow was cowering behind his mic and his lame collegues. John's constant barage of questions to the Man-Bovine were met with witty retorts such as "you are a loser" and "you can kiss my hairy white fucking ass". When Stuutering John offering a cellular phone to Mancoward so that he could talk to Howard live on-the-air, he smashed the phone down and bolted from the room amidst John's reminder to "prepare for the Stern fist". Sources tell the newsletter that the reason they call it Boot Camp is because that's what most of its attendees get from their bosses, Girlcow included.

Friday, 8/11/95:
After several brutal weeks of Evergreen/Larry Wert/Scott Ginsberg/Mancow bashing by Howard and the gang, Mancoward reacted by stealing another Stern show staple. This time the radio-funeral that Howard throws when his show wins in the ratings was lifted by Chicago's soon-to-be-fisted one.

This tactic was taken once before when Ed Levine and his morning team of losers, Mason & Sheehan, took to the streets of Albany, and held a funeral, after winning in their first rating book against Howard.

Published reports claimed up to 5,000 fans of Mancow's showed up to crown him King of Chicago morning radio. A Chicago Police woman who was there at the funeral, called the Stern show to say that the crowd was much smaller than reported and that most of the people in the crowd were chanting Howard's name.

During the funeral, Mancoward borrowed another Sternism when he returned the crown to his fans telling them that they were the Kings. An early 1980's WWWW (W4), Detroit, print ad for Howard's show quoted Howard as saying that the real stars of his show were the fans. Kings, stars, it's all the same.

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Actual Hate Mail From
The Mancoward Militia Including...

  • Mancow Kicks Stern's Ass.
  • You Don't Know Anything... & Mancow Rules!
  • You're Bullshiting... & More Mancow Rules!!!
  • The spark to the Stern/Mancoward feud was this full page ad in the July 28th issue of Radio & Records, an industry trade publication with the clout of Time and Business Week geared towards the music industry.

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    Send Me Your Mancow Fisting Artwork!

    Here's a great submission from E. Jackulate, head of the National Association of Mancow Lovers, or NAMCLA, for short.

    Remember, E-mail your Mancow Fisting GIFs/JPEGs to me and I'll post them along with your Mancow comments right here. Keep the files small and feel free to express yourself. You can start here with your very own GIF of mancoward2.gif Then send your masterpieces to:

    koam@haven.ios.com

    Home Page
    The Mancow Ad Courtesy Of: Radio & Records - 1995
    All Rights Reserved. The K.O.A.M. Newsletter 1995.