Chaunce Hayden: How does your show differ from Howard Stern?
Mancow: First of all I think we have a much better show. We have a much faster paced show. I don't think anyone is interested in him who is between the ages of 18 and 45. I think at this point Stern is just an older and slower show. The generation that was raised on MTV has a quicker paced sensibility. My show just moves quicker. We do 500 topics to one of his.
Chaunce: It's one thing to dislike a guy your in competition with, but isn't the war between you and Stern over now that he's off the terrestrial airwaves. I get the sense that there's some lingering hatred.
Mancow: I think he's revealed himself to be a fake. I think it's always been about the money for him.
Chaunce: Are you sure there's not some hint of jealousy behind your dislike for Stern?
Mancow: Look, you have to understand something. You know the way the world works I assume. Maybe I shouldn't assume that. But here's the deal. I work for a mom and pop organization. I'm an independent guy. People don't realize that Stern's soul has been sold. Now it's owned by Sirius. But he was owned by Mel [Karmazin] and the boys at CBS. He did whatever they said. It's all an act with Stern. He's a corporate guy. His rant that he's fighting “the man” is all an illusion.
Chaunce: Despite leaving free radio Stern's still managed to get himself on the cover of magazines and nearly a full hour on Letterman. Would frustrated be a better word than dislike?
Mancow: Does it frustrate me? Yes! I have more listeners than him so why aren't I in more places? Because I work for a small company. And when you're CBS you can put Stern on all your shows and promote him.
Chaunce: You're good friends with Andrew Dice Clay….
Mancow: I just had twin girls and Dice just sent $15,000 worth of stuff. That's how close we are.
Chaunce: So than does it surprise you that Dice recently went on Stern's show and begged him for forgiveness after a 10-year ban?
Mancow: Dice always says good things about me. I know he has children to feed and Dice has to do what Dice has to do. This is the first I've ever heard of this. If that's true…. I just can't believe it.
Chaunce: Believe it.
Mancow: Did he beg?
Chaunce: Sure sounded that way.
Mancow: I guess Dice had to do that to continue to make a living and feed his children. That's the only reason why I can think he would do that. You might recall another guy named John DeBello. He was a Philadelphia DJ and his wife committed suicide over Stern's on-air stunt. This is really a vile human being. His daughter performed naked in a show and his marriage is over. He goes to counseling daily. Would you want to be that? I don't. The truth is, I have pity for him. It kind of makes me sick. I'm ashamed of myself for feeling sorry for him. The hair extensions and lying about his age by ten years just to recapture what is gone is very sad. The magic is gone. There's an actors nightmare where you go on stage and you're in the wrong play. Stern has become my nightmare. I just hope I know when to exit.
Chaunce: Was there something Stern did or said besides what you just stated that set off this war between the two of you? Why can't shock jocks get along?
Mancow: First of all I'm not a shock jock. A shock jock is someone who says something simply for ratings or for effect. I have never done that. I would say that you and everybody else on earth is a shock jock if they got on the air and talked honestly. I'm a Christian. Guess what? Most of the Middle East wants me dead. That right there is radical. I'm a white man. Rev. Jesse Jackson would tell you that makes me an automatic rapist based on the Duke Lacrosse team. Unless you're political correct and are what I call the Sheepeople, you're considered radical. But I've never considered myself a shock jock. But you have to live with these labels. Believe me I have a thick skin about it. But I don't think it's an appropriate description. The guy who went on the air and said we were under nuclear attack, the guy who said the President has been shot and the guy who faked raping a girl scout…that is shock!
Chaunce: You still haven't answered my question.
Mancow: Here's the thing. Stern tells his listeners that I grew up in New York and that I listen to him. I'm from Kansas City, Missouri. I never heard his show. I had a hit radio show in Kansas City, San Francisco, Oakland and San Jose. I was number one before I ever heard his name. And that's the truth! So here I am, the number one guy in Chicago and he comes on and says I grew up in Long Island listening to him. I think that's why he didn't succeed in Chicago. My fans knew the truth. Plus he was so vicious as my father was dying of cancer, saying he wanted to rape my father's corpse. I think anyone who was civilized said, “We like the fake radio battle, but this is too much.” I think that cost him a lot of listeners and worked in my favor.
Chaunce: Not to change the subject, but let's move on to Stern's replacement, David Lee Roth. Will that move go down as the biggest disastor in radio history?
Mancow: Look, I flew to New York to meet with Stern's bosses with Stern in the building. Joel Hollender was one of the guys I met with and they said, “You want New York and we want to talk to you about it.” I said, “I don't want New York.” And they said, “Bullshit! You do!” I said, “No, I don't.” They just assumed I would be falling all over myself. I really think they were offended that I didn't want it.
Chaunce: But isn't it every talk radio host's dream to make it in New York?
Mancow: Let me finish. I want to be the guy who takes over for the guy who took over for Stern. Taking over for Stern in New York is a no win situation. Just like the guy who comes on after me will lose in Chicago. My company owns several radio stations. I won't bore you with the details, but I had a choice to go on a big name Heritage station with a huge audience or the fucking loser in Chicago twelve years ago. I picked the worst station. You can't get the “Friends” time slot and win.
Chaunce: Finally, if both you and Howard Stern were locked in an elevator for 24 hours, what would we find when we opened the doors?
Mancow: I think that he probably hates me because he misses that part of himself. He misses the guy that is relevant and the guy that is happening. I really mean this. I think he had his time and it's now time to let go of it. I'm sure that time will be tough for me as well. My hatred for him as turned to empathy. I don't know if it's because I'm a new father, but the guy has psychological damage. Being locked in an elevator with Stern would be really interesting. It would be interesting to have a conversation with him if he could put aside the act.
Chaunce: They say off the air he's not a bad guy.
Mancow: I hear that to. But he would have to bring up my father's death from cancer. He was just a humble cabinet maker from Kansas City. I really don't think he could do that and it's sad. Plus he's also painted himself into a corner with a description of me to his listeners. He would be revealed to be such a liar that he would need that Oprah wanna-be, race baiting cackling idiot behind him laughing over me. Look, you could put anyone in my studio and I'm going to win. I'm controlling your mike. I have a delay.
Chaunce: The home radio team always wins.
Chaunce: But getting back to my question. The elevator door opens. What do we see?
Mancow: It would be interesting. I think in an equal setting, even his own bosses at Sirius would agree that I would clean his clock. He's not a clever man. He's not quick on his feet. He only reads what his joke writers write for him. I write all my own stuff. Mentally I would destroy him. But it would interesting to see what would happen if my sadness for him and his jealously for me were forced together for 24 hours. That's a really great question. Fascinating.
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by Chaunce Hayden & Steppin' Out Magazine
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