Dateline: April 12, 1997
Mancow's Phony Phone Calls!
In this week's issue of NewCityNet, a Web Site highlighting local events
and entertainment in Chicago. The following Story appears there this week
about Chicago's own Eric "Mancow" Muller.
Carl Kozlowski dials into a hoax-call hangup
Mancow Muller, host of Mancow's Morning Madhouse on WCRX-FM 103.5, has
become a top draw for Chicago's young male listeners by mixing rowdy comedy
and fringe political commentary with appearances by a bizarre assortment
of seemingly disturbed individuals. Supposed child molesters, racists, kidnappers,
murderers and con artists have been featured on the program. In several
cases, however, these vile callers are not who they appear to be. Rather,
they are local comedians recruited to play it absolutely straight. With
Muller offering no disclaimers, listeners must sort reality from fiction
on their own. I should know: I was hired to make one of the bogus calls
last week. In addition, I interviewed several comedians who say they participated
in similar hoaxes after being approached by Madhouse independent contractor
Comic Chris Barron says he found himself playing one James Payne last
October. The Payne character had 100 credit cards maxed out at $10,000 apiece.
But he wasn't on the air out of shame, Barron says, but rather to give tips
about how to rack up and abuse big credit lines. A show tape reveals that
at least some listeners believed his character enough to call in and express
anger over his supposed credit-card fraud.
Soon after he agreed to play the part, Barron says, "I realized
it wasn't just a comedy bit-it was treated as a real thing and at no point
would they acknowledge it wasn't real. When Harry [Berberian] asked me to
play this character, he said, 'when you come into the station they want
you to be in character. If you identify yourself as yourself and not the
character, the deal's off, even when you go up to the receptionist walking
in.'" Other actors say they were hired to portray such characters as
a black restaurant worker who spits in the food of white patrons, a white
man who spray-paints cars owned by blacks and Hispanics, and a man who wants
to kidnap and kill a woman for Mancow. At no time, say participants, did
anyone on the show indicate these calls were hoaxes.
I verified that Muller passes off fake guests as real by agreeing to
do a call myself. I have performed stand-up comedy locally and had met Berberian
before his recent move to Los Angeles. When I called WCRX and told Madhouse
director Rusty Humphries I wanted to get in on the hoax-call action, the
following exchange occurred:
Humphries: "If you really know what you're doing and you have friends
who have done this, you'll know to get in touch with a guy named Harry."
Me: "I know Harry, and he's in L.A."
Humphries: "You'd still know how to find him."
The phone clicked off. The comics I interviewed had warned me that the
fake calls are arranged outside of the program's official auspices. I next
contacted Berberian in L.A. He asked me to play Jim Breen, a man who as
a child had been repeatedly sodomized by his father with a corn dog. Berberian
urged me to act with complete sincerity. "Be completely serious: This
is not to be a joke," he said. "Focus on the corn dogs, make it
as controversial as possible and keep it real. Keep it real."
In the course of our conversation, Berberian took credit for creating
a character who recently shook up listeners by relating that his wife left
him for beating their Down's syndrome child, and who wished all Down's syndrome
children could be killed.
"I'm a comedy-writing genius," Berberian said with a laugh.
His final piece of advice: Push the call to the limit by saying I had blocked
out the abuse until five years ago, when I had a flashback while putting
ketchup on a corn dog. (I'll allow the reader to make the visual connection.)
Before hanging up, Berberian added, "Try not to tell anyone you're
doing this. Or at least keep it within the acting community."
On March 26, my phone rang at 7:40am. A Madhouse employee put me on
hold until Muller was ready for me. At about 7:45, Muller gave Jim Breen
a dead-serious introduction.
Muller: "Jim, so many times we hear from
different convicted killers, child molesters, from rapists, any kind of
filth our planet can put together. We always hear they have an excuse because
their childhood was bad. And you wanted to come on and talk about this because
there's some men who abuse their children and they don't realize what they're
doing to their children. And of course, your form of abuse was extreme."
Me: "Yes, it was. It was highly unusual."
Then Muller played the part of responsible broadcaster.
Muller: "I ask you to use, and I want to
caution children to move away from the radio."
Muller: "Jim, I'd like you to describe what
happened to you. When we talked in the pre-interview, of course we got graphic.
We are on the radio, many ears are listening, I ask you to be as delicate
as you can and use medical terms whenever possible."
Me: "Yes sir. I'm not sure if there's a medical
term for the item my father used-"
Muller: "Jim, when people are raped, and
I've said this, the rapist should have his penis cut off."
Muller: "But rape doesn't necessarily have
to be a penis. It can be a tongue, could be a finger, it could be the end
of a stick as it is in many cases. A lot of guys who are rapists are not
able to actually get an erection to rape somebody. A rape could be done
with a pen, with anything. So you were indeed raped, and there are gonna
be people who say, 'he wasn't raped,' but you were raped and you were raped-"
Me: "With a corn dog, sir. Yes, my father
went down to purchase corn dogs, he'd heat 'em up, and utilize them on me
in a rather, uh, fashion."
Muller: "He would sodomize you with corn
After a few more moments of banter, Muller provided
a graphic summary: "Here we've got incest, we've got rape, we've got
child molestation-pedophilia. All kinds."
Soon, Muller cracked an obvious joke, which newswoman
Irma Blanco took exception to, saying, "Don't make fun of him. My God,
this is serious!"
Ultimately, Muller asked me to urge men who are
sodomizing their kids with corn dogs to stop. I was also asked if I had
trouble going near corn dogs in stores, and when I said I had flashback
problems, Muller began his closing volley.
Muller: "If I told you we just had pulled
a corn dog out of the microwave and I was eating one right now, how would
you feel about me?"
Me: "I think you'd have to be a really, really
heartless bastard." Suddenly, horror-movie music burst forth and Muller
Muller: "Irma, pass the ketchup!"
The next morning brought an even more bizarre twist to the story. Blanco
told Muller they had received an unsigned fax that he just had to hear.
A listener, she said, was upset that the corn-dog call was treated as a
joke because he had been abused with corn dogs himself. Muller sounded stunned,
and proceeded to replay the call. At no point did he cop to the hoax.
But when I called to get a comment for this story, Muller defended the
corn-dog call and others like it by putting them in the context of a wacky
morning radio show. "If you portray me as taking something as serious
as child molestation and making light of it, that is something that I would
never do and I will sue the paper," Muller told me. "Obviously,
the corn-dog call was not on a news show. It's a comedy show. When Jack
Nicholson fell into a vat of acid in 'Batman,' he didn't really become the
Joker. This is a morning show that tries to be funny. My audience can figure
Muller also disputed the level of responsibility he has for the guests
Berberian sends his way. "Harry is an independent contractor,"
the shock jock said. "I have twenty of these guys working for me, looking
for ideas and talent. I can't control what two-bit comedians will claim
to get a piece of my fame. I can't control it if someone comes on as serious
when they're not."
Berberian might be an independent contractor, but he seems to be in
close contact with Muller. The evening after my appearance as Jim Breen,
the writer left the following message on my answering machine: "Hi
Carl, this is Harry Berberian. I talked to Mancow today and he said he liked
what you did very much, that it was very good. See, we can do it. We did
it. Corn dog! Good!"
One of Muller's rewards for success in Chicago was winning the 1996
Mainstream Rock Local Radio Air Personality of the Year award from Billboard.
The magazine's radio editor, Chuck Taylor, says it's not surprising Muller
would fake phone calls. "Certainly any DJ is going to use any number
of platforms to establish and build an image," Taylor says. "Employing
people to build his image off of is not uncommon. Mancow is still a rare
breed. There are few shock DJs with as broad a reach who are as successful
and syndicated, so that puts him farther up the ladder. If he was in Anchorage,
Alaska, he'd be much more limited-the community wouldn't stand for it. But
Chicago's the third-largest market and listeners of this brand of personalities
are extremely loyal. This is not going to turn away listeners, because he's
still making his points whether the calls are real or fake."
Story Courtesy Of NewCityNet © 1997
©1997 The K.O.A.M.
Newsletter. All Rights Reserved.