Dateline: November 6, 1997

What if... There was a report card for celebrity adults!

BY RICHARD ROEPER SUN-TIMES COLUMNIST - EXCERPT

Howard Stern:
"Most boys Howard's age have reached at least some degree of maturity, but Howard cannot get beyond his fascination with bodily functions. For five hours each day, he obsesses about flatulence and sex, much to the delight of many of his classmates. He remains quite popular."

"Nevertheless, we highly recommend immediate and intense counseling.''

 

Kathie Lee Gifford:
"My but she's a little chatterbox, isn't she? We all admire Kathie Lee's enthusiasm and energy, but if she doesn't stuff a sock in it soon, we're going to make her sit right next to Howard Stern for the rest of the year.''

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©1997 The K.O.A.M. Newsletter. All Rights Reserved.
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SPECIAL THANKS TO:
RICHARD ROEPER SUN-TIMES COLUMNIST - EXCERPT