Inside The Birthday Show!
This year's surprise party for Howard's 42nd birthday was held in the
Grand Ballroom of the Plaza Hotel in New York City. Some of the celebrity
guests included Jason Alexander from Seinfeld, Governor George Pataki, Joe
Piscopo and his wife Kimberly and actor Peter Weller, along with Blues Traveler
as the house band.
On the wackier side, Kenneth Keith Kallenbach, Captain Janks, King Of
All Messengers, King Of Cable, Uzo, and the girls of Prodigy, Rubberbaby
and Gary Puppet 2, were all on hand to pay homage to their King. The Spin
Doctors also stopped by to play a birthday edition of their song, "Miss
America", which was inspired by Howard's book.
Some of the wackier off-air moments included: The countdown
to the bar opening. Unlike Tavern On The Green, where liquor flowed freely
in years past at 6am, the plaza doesn't serve any booze until 8am. Once
the bar opened, the table I was sitting at cleared out and within 5 minutes
people were returning with Screwdrivers, Sea Breezes and Gin & Tonics
along with ham omelettes and bagels and lox. To watch people who drink make
up for lost time is fascinating to me. Captain Janks came back with four
Gin & Tonics and then asked me to bring him back two more when I went
to get something to eat.
The phone brought calls from David Letterman, who said he was happy
with Howard's recent appearance on his show and Jay Leno, who agreed to
allow Howard to play on the E! show, the video clip from Howard's controversial
Tonight Show appearance where Jay walks of the set before the end of the
show. Unfortunately, that never did happen because Jay later said he had
no right to offer that tape since it was property of NBC.
Every year, someone stands out of the pack with
a momentary lapse of sanity. First time guest and phoney phone caller, King
of Cable, was definitely the most fucked up person there that day. This
kook hails from Virginia and is still under age, but you wouldn't have known
it from the way he was pounding down drinks. At one point, he told King
Of All Messengers that he was only going to drink only one drink per hour
but he soon forgot about that. On the air, he made remarks about female
body-builder Nicole Bass which didn't go over to well with Nicole off the
air. She summoned him over to her table in front of us and read him the
riot act. "You just lost yourself a good friend,"
Nicole sassed. King of Cable just laughed and went to get more food and
drink. Rumors surfaced later that he whipped his dick out on several occasions
and ran around flexing and showing his chest. Hope you made it to the train
station okay, Matt.
Our table also played host to some
of the transvestites that helped Howard with his book's theme. Howard's
hairdresser, Fabian and Howard's "girl friend" from Patricia Fields,
Dan-a, plopped down and acted like the true queens they were. By now the
table was getting interesting. Elephant Boy and his date, Rubberbaby and
her husband, Gary Puppet 2, Janks, King Of Cable and the drag Queens were
all wacking it up. "Is my lipstick on straight?,"
one of the Queens asked. While it didn't bother me, it was a
little odd to sit next to men/women who had to tuck their dicks in not to
have that unsightly bulge show where their vaginas should be.
More Birthday Show Photos...
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